Tuesday, May 1, 2012

The Definition of a Boy

The other day my mom said something about how, what we (me and my little brother) were doing was dangerous. My dad said "Oh just let them be boys". Nonetheless my mom got us out of there before the bear that we were poking got too angry.

Later that day, I started thinking about what dad had said, 'Oh just let them be boys', and then I started thinking really hard. Then smoke started coming out of my ears and and I thought, what is the definition of a boy? I ask myself this, again and again. I start to create a list in my mind about everything a boy is, but because of too much TV, video games and radiation from the microwave that have melted my brain cells, I find it hard to form this list in my head, so I just use a pen and paper. I write the following:

        Boy (boyus smelliness) A young offspring (male) between the ages of 6-16, that in it's later period of boyness has a very distinct, strong odor emanating from it. It enjoys rolling in mud like other creatures (see swine and canine) to have fun. The key words to describe a boy are dirty, smelly, energetic, pyromaniac,  brainless, trigger happy, repulsive, ape, hungry, annoying, dirtbag and couch potato. Some of it's many calls are, "Let's blow it up!", "Sure it's safe!", "RUN!!", "Man your bleeding pretty bad", and finally, "I didn't do it!" The reaction, to a situation that involves the use of said calls, of the female adult that is the kin of the boy is a whole other story to be written but I will give you a sample of it: "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?!" the boy then says "but I..." "SHUT UP!!! I DON'T BELIEVE THAT YOU ACTUALLY BLEW  UP MR. JENS BARN!!!"

"WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!?!" "I'm sor..." "SHUT UP!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU COULD GO TO JUVENILE HALL!?!" "yes, bu..." SHUT UP AND GO TO BED, NO DINNER!!" "Okay..." "SHUT UP!!!". I've taken into consideration submitting what I wrote that day to the Webster Dictionary Company but, I don't think that they could handle the awesomeness that I create.  Well, that's how it goes, I guess, when your a boy.(Personally I think the mom is worse than the boy.)


  1. Nice. I wonder how your mom sees this... :D

    1. She finds it unfair that i wrote this about moms! But i think she thinks it funny.

  2. Your Mom thinks it's unfair?????? ask her about "Going around the corner on two wheels!!" just to name a few..........
    Man, where's the spell check?

  3. Hey, have you ever thought of changing the name of your Blog to ThedefinitionofaFineyoungMan?

    Cool Dude...........Gramp's